HADDONFIELD
DAN BEVILACQUA JR
Dan Bevilacqua Jr. has over 40 years of experience being, well, pretty average. He has spent his life not failing, not succeeding, but always firmly occupying the middle ground. His high school report cards were a beautiful, consistent mix of Cs, and his JV athletic career was a masterclass in staying just out of the spotlight. As a handyman, he has perfected the art of the "good enough" repair—nothing falls apart immediately, but you wouldn't bet your house on its longevity. Dan is the guy you call for a small job, and you'll get a small-to-average result. The work will get done, but you might need to give a wobbly shelf a reassuring pat every now and then. This unwavering mediocrity is something Dan truly owns. His philosophy can be summed up by his simple approach to life: a good, boring C-average is often a lot less stressful than aiming for an A or failing with an F. So if you need something fixed in a way that is utterly unremarkable, Dan Bevilacqua Jr. is your man. He won't let you down, but he definitely won't blow you away.
TOM ESTILOW
Uniquely qualified thanks to his first job at the neighborhood hardware store, Tom learned early on how to re-glaze windows, self-administer first aid with paper towels and duct tape, and navigate the mysteries of DIY before YouTube. He still uses the same leather-wrapped hammer he bought with his employee discount. Tom’s dedication to fixing things himself means his home to-do list grows longer every year. As a handyman, he cares for your property as he would his own house, which can be reassuring, or a red flag. He spends an inordinate amount of time each week making sure trash at the curb is neat and organized. As his father always says, cleanup is the most important part of any job. But he knows that perfection is the enemy, because nobody wants him hanging out all week. He enjoys repairs, restorations, and taking things apart to see how they work. His favorite tool is needle nose pliers, because they exude precision no matter what you’re doing with them. Since joining the Mediocre team, Tom started using the contractor entrance at Home Depot, but he still gets asked to leave the pro checkout line.